The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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