I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
