margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
