therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
