I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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