when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
