He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
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