Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
