I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
