Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
