Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Drunk is not a location!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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