I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize