Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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