Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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