Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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