the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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