I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well you can't waste a boner
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
