Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
