we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
