Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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