actually, I'm a sock model
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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