i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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