so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize