i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
