if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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