it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
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My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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