i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
