let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Bring me that man meat
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