Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
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the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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