new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
