Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
