Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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