Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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