a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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