please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
