barbara walters just said penis...
My balls are so social today.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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