I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize