Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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