susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
