so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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