I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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