addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you had me at cake vodka
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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