Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
