good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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