If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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