so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
