Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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