I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
