i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and she was petting her beer can
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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