just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
