New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
