you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
