i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
