pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
