ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
