Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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