yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
