I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
