sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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