i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
