I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
