He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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