Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I want to be your penis for a week.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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