we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
