so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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