No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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