I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
