And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
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We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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