At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
