i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
